


The Adventure of the Missing Cookies

by definekjd



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack, Detectives, Gen, Mystery, chenyeol pretend to be sherlock holmes and dr watson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 00:12:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17970749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/definekjd/pseuds/definekjd
Summary: When the RA comes to Jongdae and Chanyeol with a mysterious case of missing cookies, they're suddenly a duo of eccentric detective and his doctor companion investigating the six other occupants of the E block dorm.





	The Adventure of the Missing Cookies

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'ed.

Chanyeol is lying upside down on Jongdae's bed, his head pillowed on the bunched up blanket on the floor and his long legs spread out on the mattress as he looks up research articles on his phone that they can summarise and bullshit on for their first lit pair assignment, when the door to Jongdae's room slams open.

Chanyeol drops his phone smack on his face.

"Fuck!" he curses loudly, swatting his phone off his face and letting it tumble onto the blanket. Way to start the fucking morning.

"Did any of you see my cookies?" demands Junmyeon from where he stands before the open door.

From across the room, Jongdae crushes yet another empty can of energy drink, the sound of it loud and crisp in the small room. "Junmyeon, it's seven fucking a.m.," he says, unamused.

The disgruntled look doesn't leave Junmyeon's face. "Someone took my freaking cookies, Jongdae. I had my name on them!"

"This is why you don't put personal food in the shared pantry," Jongdae says, the same time Chanyeol wonders aloud, "What kinda loser _labels their things_?"

Junmyeon seems utterly offended by that, so Chanyeol lifts his arms up to cover his face from any potential assault, but nothing ever comes. Instead, all he gets is an exasperated Junmyeon, looking tired and just done with life.

"Look," he says, "They're very important cookies. If I don't eat them while I do my last-minute cramming, I'll literally _die_."

"Um. We all know that's a lie," Chanyeol says. He's about to tell Junmyeon to get the fuck out because really, he doesn't need all the extra stress added over this hell of a lit assignment, except --

"When did you last see these cookies?" asks Jongdae, looking genuinely curious.

Chanyeol splutters. "You can't be serious --"

"Well," Junmyeon says, "last night right after dinner --"

"-- Jongdae, we have an assignment due _tomorrow_!"

"So, around seven-thirty-ish," Jongdae estimates.

"Yeah," Junmyeon confirms, nodding eagerly.

Chanyeol groans into the blanket on the floor.

"And then just about ten minutes ago I went down to take some and they _weren't there_ ," Junmyeon says.

"Eleven and a half hours," says Jongdae, perched on the only chair in his room. He brings his elbows up to his knees and rests his chin on his fingers, eyes narrowing, and hums in thought. "Curious," he says. "Curious, indeed."

"What? But I have basketball with Sehun later, and -- and the assignment --" Chanyeol protests, but as with everything that involves Jongdae, Chanyeol can never win.

"Can wait," finishes Jongdae, turning to Chanyeol. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Chanyeol frowns. "No."

"Alright, Watson," says Jongdae, standing up. "The game is afoot! Junmyeon, bring in everyone for a questioning one-by-one."

"Jongdae, we are _not_ playing Sherlock --"

Jongdae tuts. "Quickly, now."

/

So this is how Chanyeol ends up sitting on Jongdae's bed, a notepad and a pen in hand, with Jongdae beside him also on the bed, and one of the six other occupants of the E block dorm -- Yixing -- on Jongdae's chair across them. Neither of them are friends with Yixing, and the only thing Chanyeol knows about the guy is that he majors in music and has a milk-scented body wash that he sometimes forgets and leaves behind in the bathroom.

"I don't even like cookies," says Yixing, shrugging. "Oh! Unless they're dinosaur-shaped."

"Huh," says Jongdae. "Why is that?"

Yixing turns away, then, squinting at the sunlight that penetrates through Jongdae's window. "I like Jurassic Park."

This _cannot_ get any weirder.

Jongdae smacks Chanyeol on the thigh. "What are you doing? Write that down!" To Yixing, he says, "Okay, uh. Where were you last night, after dinner?"

"In my room," says Yixing. "And then I went to Jongin's room to -- well, I _knocked_ on his room, but he didn't answer."

Now _this_ is some good stuff. Chanyeol writes that down.

"And why were you looking for him?" asks Jongdae.

"We're in the dance club together and I wanted to discuss plans for the spring performance," says Yixing. "I tried texting him but he didn't answer either."

Huh. Interesting.

/

"Junmyeon!" Jongdae calls out as Yixing excuses himself out of the room.

Junmyeon pokes his head through the open door.

"Were the cookies dinosaur-shaped?"

Junmyeon just looks confused. " _Why_ would they be dinosaur-shaped --"

/

"Oh my god, guys, what's going on?" asks Baekhyun as soon as he's inside the room, almost slipping on one of the crushed energy drink cans scattered on the floor before he climbs onto the chair, legs folded under his lap. 

"Where did you go after dinner last night, Baekhyun?" asks Jongdae.

"What? I was here! With you guys!"

"Oh," says Jongdae, grinning sheepishly. "Right. Sorry. It's the caffeine."

"Right," Says Baekhyun, frowning slightly. "Anyways, what the fuck?"

"Junmyeon went batshit because he lost some cookies," explains Chanyeol.

Jongdae smacks him again.

"Ow!" whines Chanyeol, rubbing at the sore spot.

"You can't just give away confidential info like that," he chastises.

Baekhyun's frown deepens. "I thought we were best bros."

Jongdae seems to consider that. "Okay, then, you're an exception."

Baekhyun grins.

"So you were with us last night," Jongdae repeats. Baekhyun nods. They'd been playing League but then Jongdae and Chanyeol remembered that they had an assignment due and so -- "Then we kicked you out and then?"

"I went back to my room and slept," says Baekhyun. "I just woke up. Literally. In fact, I was gonna go to the bathroom, but I saw the line outside your door and Junmyeon dragged me here instead. Wow, I forgot I needed to pee."

Chanyeol isn't sure if he's supposed to write all that down, but he does anyway, not looking forward to another smack from Jongdae's very small but very feisty hands.

"So you weren't anywhere near the pantry after dinner and before now, at all?" asks Jongdae.

"No. Swear," says Baekhyun, a bit too eagerly. Then, "Can I go pee now?"

Jongdae sighs. "Okay."

Baekhyun stands. He's about to pull the door open, but stops and turns to them. "Next is Kyungsoo, by the way. Careful, he's kinda" -- he leans in to whisper conspiratorially -- "aloof."

Chanyeol shudders.

/

They all know Kyungsoo. Not as in, _know_ know, but just -- they can match the face with the name, you know, that kind of thing.

"I'd just been in my room," says Kyungsoo, leaning against the backrest with hands neatly piled on his lap and absolutely no emotion on his face.

"Do you have any alibi?" Jongdae asks.

"I had a Skype call with my parents right after dinner for some time, so you can check the call history if you want," Kyungsoo says.

Jongdae hums. "And after that?"

"How am I supposed to prove that I was asleep?" asks Kyungsoo, now looking a bit irked.

"Okay! Okay," Chanyeol defends, holding his hands up before him. "We're just asking."

"What's so important, anyway? They're just goddamn cookies," says Kyungsoo, thick brows furrowed in a scowl.

"Junmyeon says they're important to him and we don't question --"

"But hey," says Kyungsoo, cutting Chanyeol off before he can finish and leaning forward, "I heard something really strange last night."

They both perk up.

"Yeah?" asks Jongdae, easily hooked.

"It was right before I fell asleep, maybe around nine, ten-ish?" guesses Kyungsoo, frowning as he tries to recall. "It sounded very faint, but... unyielding. Like continuous whimpers. Puppies? Almost like puppies, but more... adult. Almost... _human_. And some loud knocks. Like they were constantly muttering something while loudly banging at the door."

Oh, god. Perhaps Kyungsoo is kinda really cool. Chanyeol writes all the details down on his notepad, as accurately as he can.

Jongdae narrows his eyes at Kyungsoo. "Ghosts don't exist."

Kyungsoo shrugs, leaning back and away. "I'm not saying they do. But you'll never know."

Jongdae just squints. "How long did these noises last?"

Kyungsoo's facial expression goes from 1.2% to 0.0% all over again. "I wouldn't know. I was asleep not long after."

/

Jongin looks so skittish in the daylight it almost gives the illusion that he was the one who finished all those energy drinks and pulled an all-nighter instead of Jongdae.

"Am I in trouble?" Jongin asks, eyes darting nervously between Jongdae and Chanyeol.

"Not if you can prove yourself innocent," says Jongdae. "Where were you last night? Yixing said he tried looking for you in your room but you weren't there."

Jongin's eyes go impossibly wide. "I -- I can't say," he says, shaking his head furiously. "But I didn't go anywhere near the pantry. Please believe me."

Jongdae taps stubby fingers against his own thigh, watching Jongin carefully. "Do you maybe have a witness for that?"

At that, Jongin visibly lights up. "Minseok hyung! Minseok hyung was with me."

Huh. Weird.

Jongdae seems to think the same, but he lets Jongin out anyway, staring unseeingly at the now empty chair, deep in thought.

/

Minseok is possibly one of the coolest, if not _the_ coolest person Chanyeol has ever known. He's taking his master's, is a co-founder of a startup, is star player of the soccer club, is neat, _and_ has enough motivation and energy needed after all that to work out three times a week. He's just not human.

"I was in my room last night," says Minseok, sitting with his legs open wide on the chair and his back relaxed against the backrest, eyes blinking at them amicably.

Jongdae makes a confused sound. "But Jongin said you were with _him_."

Minseok smiles, then, a subtle raise of one end of his pretty mouth. "Oh, yeah, I was with him last night."

Chanyeol stares.

Jongdae also stares. "Oh. Um. And you weren't anywhere near the pantry?"

Minseok sighs, although the handsome smile stays on his face. "I was in my room. Giving Jongin the dicking of his life. On my bed. With Jongin. It did not involve cookies."

A long moment of silence as Jongdae and Chanyeol both stare at Minseok who just smiles at them good-naturedly.

Jongdae opens his mouth, and closes them again.

Chanyeol looks down at his notepad. He turns to Jongdae. "Do I write that down?"

/

"So the ghost sounds --"

"Yeah," says Jongdae.

"Okay," says Chanyeol. "But the knocks on the door --"

Jongdae gives him a very long, very pointed look.

"-- weren't knocks at all." Of course -- the bed, against the wall. Right. Right.

"Yeah." Jongdae starts tapping at his thigh again. "Where's Sehun?"

/

"So did you find out who ate my cookies?"

"Who cares about some goddamn fucking cookies, Junmyeon?" Jongdae snaps. "Kim Minseok and Kim Jongin are _fucking_. Now _that_ is news."

Junmyeon gapes. "Who the fuck cares --"

" _Everyone_ cares," says Jongdae. "Minseok is the single most attractive man in the whole of South Korea.

Chanyeol raises his hand. "I agree."

From the foot of Jongdae's bed where Baekhyun is munching on some jerky, he nods. "Me too."

"Why are _you_ here?" Junmyeon demands at Baekhyun. "What are you, Mrs. Hudson?"

Baekhyun tuts. "Rude. I have best bro privileges."

Junmyeon opens his mouth to protest again, but Jongdae shrugs, saying, "He does."

Then, the door swings open.

"Chanyeol hyung, can we go for basketball a bit later 'cause I have this online quiz at --" Sehun stops in his track. "Why is everyone here?"

In his hand is a half-eaten... cookie.

"Is that my cookie," says Junmyeon, in a very emotionless and monotonous voice.

Sehun observes the cookie. "Is it?" he wonders out loud, around a mouthful of cookie.

"It is my cookie," confirms Junmyeon.

Slowly, Chanyeol closes his notepad, puts it aside, and leans in to Jongdae's side. "This is kinda anticlimactic," he whispers.

"Um. Sorry?" Sehun tries, looking not at all apologetic. "Do you want them all back? I kinda finished it. I can spit it back out."

And then Junmyeon is fuming, and Chanyeol is pretty sure the level of anger he currently has in that teeny tiny body is more than the socially acceptable level of anger someone can have over something as simple as _cookies_.

"It has my fucking name on it," says Junmyeon, voice raised and angry.

"Wait," Sehun says. "You -- _label_ your things?"

Junmyeon screams and charges forward.

/

"So," says Jongdae, standing between Junmyeon and Sehun as Chanyeol and Baekhyun hold Junmyeon back. "Case closed?"

Junmyeon struggles forward again and Chanyeol and Baekhyun pull him back as Sehun flails helplessly behind Jongdae. Chanyeol feels something that smarts on his right arm and checks to find out that, yes, he in fact has a nail-shaped welt forming on the skin. Great.

Jongdae sighs, tired. "He's a kid, Junmyeon. And they're just cookies."

"They're _never_ just cookies. They're _my_ cookies."

"Oh my god, you're so dramatic," says Baekhyun as he lets Junmyeon go, nudging Junmyeon into Chanyeol's arms. "Dude, you need to get laid."

Junmyeon gasps, obviously offended. "What the fuck does that have to do with --"

"Chill!" Chanyeol corrects. He takes his hands off Junmyeon. "He means you need to chill. You can always buy them again. "

" _I made them myself_ ," hisses Junmyeon.

...Oh. Well. That changes things, doesn't it?

"Sehun can help you make it again," Chanyeol offers, flashing Junmyeon a wide grin. "Right, Sehun?"

"Uh, I can't," Sehun says, looking disinterested. "I have an online quiz and also we gotta go for basketball, remember, hyung?"

Right. Of course.

Junmyeon is positively growling.

Sighing again, Jongdae finally volunteers. "Fine, I'll do it." Then he turns to Sehun, eyeing him with a pointed glare at which Sehun easily cowers as Jongdae says, "You owe me."

/

It's only after Chanyeol finishes basketball, comes home to the smell of vanilla cookies lingering around the common area of the E block dorm and gets back to his room does he realise something.

They've had zero progress on their lit assignment.

From the other end of the hallway, Jongdae seems to realise this at almost the same time, as Chanyeol can hear his muffled velociraptor scream all the way from his own room.

" _Oh Sehun, I'm going to kill you!_ "


End file.
